Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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