you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
