found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
