i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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