well most of my day revolves around power hour
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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