When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
