I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
