I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
