It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
