just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
