I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
