That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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