Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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