all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
