Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
