If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
