in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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