Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
