Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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