I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
