Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You don't make any sense
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