I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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