So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
