I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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