i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
