Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
