Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
