Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
