Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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