you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
