there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
