So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just had sex on a roof
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
