just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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