Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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