You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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