I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it's like iHOP with fire
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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