It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
