I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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