my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm both gender and math confused
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
