a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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