I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
