Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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