I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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