So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
