By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
