Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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