I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
