i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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