i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
