Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
